dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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