I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
