Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
