i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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