what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i now understand why vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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