I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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