okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
