Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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