And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
