I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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