It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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