My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
