College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
NoShamevember. You game?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
