Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
