I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
