He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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