dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
