My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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