i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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