White coat. Heels.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
