She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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