One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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