im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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