Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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