I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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