Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
