Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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