I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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