i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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