I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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