Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
