Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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