its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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