I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
