Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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