Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
