Sorry, I don't speak sober.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
