I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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