Your tits are I can't wait for
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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