You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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