i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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