I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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