ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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