yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
