It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize