I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
