I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize