how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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