no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
