The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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