i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
