You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
