Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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