My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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