i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
