i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize