I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
