i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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