It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
