Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
