Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
