Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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