Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
