Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
