Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
