would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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