He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
