If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize