It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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