No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
