Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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