You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Randomize
