whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
