What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
