conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
